cherry blossom infiltration
by iamRAWRkaythanks
Summary: AU. At Konoha Directions Academy, Akatsuki is the most feared group. So when Sakura Haruno's five best friends dare her to infiltrate Akatsuki, she accepts. But what happens when she starts to fall for them? AkatSaku, minor others.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Yeah, I caved and wrote an AkatSaku fic. So sue me.**

_**cherry blossom infiltration**_

_xxprologuexx_

I would just like you to know that I never meant for this to happen. The dare from my girls was simple: infiltrate Akatsuki and cause their demise. Nothing too complicated.

However, I didn't expect for there to be more then meets the eye.

I didn't expect to be a kindred spirit and I certainly did NOT expect to fall head over heels for people the rest of Konoha Directions considered scoundrels and good-for-nothings.

But I digress. You probably don't know what I'm talking about.

Let me start from the beginning.

_xxprologuexx_

Konoha Directions has five main groups-the Cheerleaders (aka the Bitches, with the exception of my best friend, Ino Yamanaka), the jocks, the brainiacs, the badasses (various people from the jocks, the brainiacs, and the badasses, plus Ino, form the Konoha 12 plus the 'Sand Siblings') and the Akatsuki (our school's resident gang).

Akatsuki happens to be the most feared group in our school.

If you piss of the Akatsuki, your body will never be found.

_xxprologuexx_

12:00 pm.

Lunchtime, or in the minds of our teachers and other Konoha staff, hell on earth.

Mainly because all 1,000 kids are free to roam the hallways and (mostly) do what they want.

If I was an adult, I'd be scared, too.

"Okay, I h-a-t-e chemistry!" Tenten Kunai, a lovely brown-haired junior groaned as she sat down next to me, plopping her tray full of school food on the table.

"Who doesn't?" Blonde, blue-eyed sophomore cheerleader Ino Yamanaka snorted as she stabbed her salad with a plastic fork angrily across the table.

"At least you don't have it with members of Akatsuki," Dirty blonde junior Temari no Sabaku muttered as she settled across the table from Tenten.

"Ouch," A new voice said, and I looked around in time to see black-haired, emerald-eyed junior Sydney 'Sia' Uchiha filling the empty spot next to me.

"W-which mem-members?" Shy navy-haired sophomore Hinata Hyuuga stuttered as she sat next to Ino and across from Sia.

"Hidan, Tobi, Uchiha, Iwa..." Temari trailed off. "I think that's it."

"Those are the only juniors members," I pointed out, flipping my pink hair over my right shoulder.

Temari growled at her soup, narrowing her eyes as she stabbed a carrot. We all sighed at her.

"I never understood why your brother joined Akatsuki," Ino sighed to Sia. "It's a waste of hotness."

The blackette just groaned. "Sometimes I wish someone would just, like, take them down from the inside or something..."

Ino paused mid bite of salad, her eyes widening as a smirk played on her face.

"Boar, whatever it is, no," I warned as she turned to look at me.

"But-"

"No, I will not take down the Akatsuki from the inside, you can't make me," I huffed.

"Fine then..." Ino hummed.

Oh no...she wouldn't.

"I DARE you to infiltrate the Akatsuki."

Well, fuck. I had lost the battle.

_xxprologuexx_

**A/N: Yes, I have joined the legion of authors who write AkatSaku...don't hurt me!**

**I know it's short...but it's the prologue. So, meh.**

**I'm halfway done with the second chapter-so _review_ if you want more.**

**~RAWR**


	2. Operation Piss Off Hidan

**A/N: Sorry this took so long...I've been busy. Enjoooyyy.**

**_cherry blossom infiltration_**

* * *

><p>I'm pretty sure it's in my blood to never back down from a dare. In fact, I don't remember EVER backing down from a dare. Not even those stupid 'it's four am and the only reason we're still up is cause we're at a sleepover' dares.<p>

Thus, the instant the word 'dare' had come from Ino's mouth regarding the 'infiltrating of Akatsuki' thing, I was hooked.

Damn boar.

So, here I am, the freelancing, smartass sophomore who needs a way in to Akatsuki. Who's the easiest to piss off/freak out, to use to prove my worth?

Mother fucking Hidan, whi is a Jashinist. In simple terms, this means that he 'sacrifices' himself in order for 'immortality' and that he's a sucker for pain.

Yeah, have I mentioned that all the Akatsuki members are fucked up in their own way?

* * *

><p>Narrowing my eyes, I looked down at the picture that was a printout from Google Images. Tilting my head, I tried not to shiver from the Autumn chill. Huffing, I pulled the hood of my jacket further over my head.<p>

Finally memorizing the image, I smirked as I shook my bottle of spray paint before beginning to paint the symbol in bright purple paint on a sterile white wall.

Finishing the picture, I bite my lip. It needed something-oh.

Grinning, I began to spray letters on the wall.

* * *

><p>"The fuck is this?" A voice ripped through the early morning silence at Konoha and I smirked as I shut my dorm door behind me.<p>

It seems Hidan had found my present.

"Tobi thinks Hidan-sempai needs to calm down!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Right, time to make myself known.

"For Kami's sake, do you need to be so fucking loud at six am?" I asked, yawning as I rounded the corner to find Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi.

The silver-haired man turned to snarl at me as his buddies watched, semi-interested in how this was going to play out. "Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch?"

"Someone who's sleep was interrupted...sharky, my eyes are up here," I said without ever looking at the blue-skinned senior.

"Damn, un," murmured Deidara Iwa, but I chose to ignore that.

Hidan scrutinized me. "Are you new, bitch?"

"Fuck no!"

"Huh...really? I think I wouldve remembered the hair..."

Huffing, I tried to control my temper. "I'm a sophomore, asshole. By the way-nice picture. Did you do it yourself?"

"Someone has spunk, un," Deidara commented with a smirk. I threw him a glare.

"I don't believe I was talking to you, blondie," I snapped angrily, flicking my bangs impatiently (a bad habit I'd picked up from Ino).

Deidara growled, but Kisame laid a hand on his shoulder.

Tobi, who'd been uncharacteristically quiet up until this point, opened his mouth and asked, "Tobi think pink-haired girl is cute! Will pink-haired girl give Tobi a hug?" before glomping me.

"Aagh!" I cried as we tumbled to the floor, Tobi still death-hugging me. "Let! Me! Motherfucking! Go!"

"Hidan, this girl's mouth is almost as bad as yours..." Kisame remarked dryly.

"I fucking know. It makes the bitch all the more sexy."

That was it. I pushed Tobi off of me, jumped to my feet, and decked Hidan down the hallway (the lockers stopped his flight). Then, before Kisame or Deidara could stop me, I was gone.

I was going to kill Ino.

* * *

><p>"Ino! Wake the fuck up!" I screeched, sounding like my best friend did if she didn't get enough sleep.<p>

"Ugh! What the hell forehead?" The blonde whined as she opened her door.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"What the fuck did I do?" Ino wanted to know.

Quickly I recalled how this morning had gone down. She stared at me for a few seconds, before bursting into tear-jerking laughter.

"Pig, this isn't funny!" I near whined.

"How could Hidan freaking out over you drawing his god's symbol and writing 'You're not alone Hidan...you're never alone' on the walls NOT be funny?" She was still cracking up.

"Okay, that part was funny," I admitted grudgingly. "...But I'm still going to kill you!"

"Them thinking you're hot is just gonna make your entrance into the Akatsuki all the easier. Flaunt whatcha got, forehead," Ino said, hand resting on one hip as she flicked her bangs (I told you!). "...Not that you have a lot. To flaunt, that is."

I growled. "Oh, you're so dead."

* * *

><p>I decided to start phase 2 of Operation: Piss Off Hidan that afternoon.<p>

Sitting in an empty art classroom, I rolled up my sleeves as I surveyed the giant roll of yellow paper in front of me. I looked at the notebook laying next to me, which held various phrases I brainstormed over the day that I thought might piss off Hidan.

I had come up with...fuck. Fifty. I was going to be busy.

Sighing, I dipped my paintbrush in purple paint and began the hellish task before me.

* * *

><p>Half through my sixth poster (which would read 'Dear Hidan, You Suck. Love, Jashin') I heard it.<p>

Or, should I say, them.

"Art is a bang, un!"

"You stupid brat. Art is CLEARLY everlasting."

"BANG!"

"ETERNAL!"

Oh dear Kami-Jashin, it was the art twins.

The door flew open and I sighed, setting my paint brush down as I looked up, tucking a lock of my vibrant hair behind an ear. "Can I help you?" I asked, vexed.

Both of their heads snapped towards me. "Hey, you're that girl from this morning, un," Deidara frowned.

"Very good," I said dryly, clapping slowly. "You've won our prize of absolutely nothing!"

The redhead beside him, Sasori Akasuna, chuckled. "You're a sarcastic one, aren't you?"

"Blame my genetics," I responded with a shrug of my shoulders. "Now is there anything I can do for you two? If not, please get the fuck out kay thanks."

And I turned back to my poster(s), picking up my paintbrush with a flourish.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, the art twins didn't leave. Instead-still squabbling over the true meaning of art-they went over to some blank canvases and began to paint.<p>

Thankfully, their squabbling wasn't too loud.

It was annoying though.

Just starting the twenty-seventh poster ('JASHIN BLOWS. Suck it, Hidan' [that had actually been Temari's idea]), my eye twitched as Deidara and Sasori's voices grew louder.

"Bang, danna, un!

"Do I have to spell it out for you, brat? E-T-E-R-N-A-L. Eternal."

"Fuck no, danna, un!"

I growled deep in my throat and whipped around.

"Motherfucker, would you two just shut the HELL UP? I'm trying to work on something important here and you two aren't helping, mmkay? So, if you two would kindly refrain from talking until one of us leaves, I would appreciate it," I snarled, waving my paintbrush around for effect. "Good, glad we cleared up."

Stupid artists.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh yeah, Sakura is evil. And sarcastic. Kekekekeke.**

**...The chapters will get longer. Hopefully.**

**Thank you RaccoonMetal, Living in Symphony, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, Kistyra, Cindy Medeiros, Ketsuki no Kuki (i have zero plans for Sia to take over, I promise. There will be PeinSaku...MadaSaku, most likely not), Moonlight Meiko, Quiet in My Town, and Purple Sunshine56 for reviewing, I squeal everytime I see a new review alert in my inbox, it just makes me that much happier.**

**That being said, please review this chapter too!**

**Baaiii,**

**iamRAWRkaythanks**


	3. All Hail Jashin

**A/N: I am soooo sooo sooo soooooooo sorry this took so long! I've been writing about a thousand different things at once. .**

_**cherry blossom infiltration**_

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

It ended up being that I left the art room first, the art twins still squabbling when I left.

Tch. Idiots.

Anyway, my posters in hand, I strolled down the halls, eyeing potential places to hang my masterpieces during the night.

Of course, first I had to find my sidekicks.

"Don't you ever dare DISS THE SQUIRRELS again!"

I whipped around, darting down a hallway I had previously ignored and ended up in one of Konoha Directions' many courtyards, where Sia was in a staredown with a freshman.

The freshie was losing.

"Sia," I called, trying to get her attention. "I need your help."

"Saku-kun!" She chirped, icing the freshmeat as she galloped-yes, GALLOPED-over to me. "What can I do for you chickadee?"

"Okay...one, don't ever call me that again, two, chickadee? Wtf? And three, I need you to help me put these up tonight." I waved the anti-Hidan posters in her face.

A cackle emerged from her lips as she rubbed her hands together, grinning maniacally. "Oh, I can manage that my little squirrel minion. I can manage that."

"Just...meet at Courtyard A at eleven pm."

She started to laugh hysterically and I backed away.

Whyyyyy was she my friend again...?

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

Knocking on the door in front of me impatiently, I propped my free hand on my hip. "Tennie! Cmon! I know you're in there!"

The door flung open, nearly smacking me in the face. "OW! Mother of Jashin-" I broke off, holding my nose to make sure it wasn't broken.

"OH, shit, I'm sorry Sak!" Tenten apologized, a look of guilt on her face. "Do you need-"

"Give me a sec," I managed, slowly letting go of my nose. "Fuuuuck that hurt."

The brunette offered me a sheepish smile. "So, uhm, bruised and injured noses aside, what's up?"

"I need your help," I muttered, rubbing my fingers up and down the bridge of my nose gently. "Tonight, Courtyard A, 11 pm. By the way, I'm so killing you." And with that, I turned around and walked down the hallway.

"I'm sorry...!"

"LIES!"

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

"About time you guys got here!" Sia whined as Tenten and I arrived at exactly the same moment.

"Shut yer trap, hoe," Tenten said in a fake accent. "...No judging!" She whined as Sia and I just stared at her.

"Riiiiiiiiight..." I said slowly. "Well, as you know, Ino has completely ruined my life by daring me to piss off/infiltrate the Akatsuki. So! Since you two are my partners in crime, you're going to help me hang up these badass posters I made earlier during break." I shoved a bunch of the 'Operation: Piss off Hidan' posters in Tenten and Sia's arms.

"Jashin can suck it? Jashin-sama will reap your soul? Jashin is not real bitch?" The brunette look at me.

"No, you have to read it correctly," Sia sighed. "It says JASHIN IS NOT REAL, BITCH!"

"Whatever squirrel-chan."

"Stop complaining you two and go hang them up!" I snapped.

"Yes ma'am!" Sia scurried off into the night, Tenten relctantly following.

I rubbed my nose. "Damn weapon lovers..."

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

Sneaking around hanging up my Anti-Hidan and Jashin posters was fun. It made me feel like a ninja.

...I so wanted to be a ninja. Ninjas were awesome.

"Captain Haruno, the mission has been completed!" Sia appeared next to me, saluting.

"Shut up," Tenten appeared, smacking her over the back of the head. "C'mon, let's go to bed. Night Sak."

"Later guys," I waved, wondering how Ino and Hinata would feel about being awakened at midnight. Ah, well.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

The next day, the entire school was buzzing.

"Did you see them?"

"Not in person, no, Tsunade had the teachers take them down before I had a chance. But there are pictures on the web!"

"SERIOUSLY? Send me the link dude!"

I half-smiled. Whether in hallways or classrooms, everyone had been talking about the posters, which had been nicknamed the 'Anti-Hidan Documents' by some senior during third period. It was enough to make me want to dance through the hallways and yell "NOT INVISIBLE ANYMORE, AM I BITCH?" Somehow I refrained from doing so.

Sia, on the other hand, was a different story. I caught her piroutting through the halls like a ballerina in between third and fourth.

"Hey, pinky," A familiar voice said and I had to squash down my victorious feelings as I turned around slowly.

"Hello Hidan," I managed to subtly smirk. "Seems you're the man of the hour, no? I'm honoured you stopped to talk to me."

"Pile the fucking sarcasm on a little damn higher, pinky, then you might be fucking drowning in it," The junior retorted. I was acutely aware that we had a growing audience and that people were whispering about us.

"Why would I want to do that?" I answered sweetly. "If I did that I wouldn't be able to see all of my peers' wonderful faces everyday!"

The silver-haired male stuck his hands in his pockets. "Ya fucking know, I saw one of your kamidamned little friends last night, fucking scuttling around with a shitting handful of fucking yellow papers last night. I fucking think it was Itachi's fucking sister; Sia, right?"

"Oh, those," I laughed. "It's a prank going on between the six of us," I smiled brightly. "You wouldn't understand, your brain's too small to comprehend it."

The crowd around us hushed.

Hidan smirked. "Better fucking watch out, Sakura Haruno. The Akatsuki's gotta a fucking eye on you." And with that he turned around and walked through the parted crowd.

It was all I could do to keep a smirk off my face. Phase One, get their interest? Complete.

Now it was time to go brag, I thought as I turned around to walk off too, not bothering to hide my smirk as I spotted a poster Tsunade had missed.

ALL HAIL JASHIN...OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

Something like that, indeed.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

"I'm being watched!" I yelled proudly as I burst into Ino and Sia's dorm room. Said two females, along with Tenten, Temari, and Hinata, all turned to look at me like I was on something.

"...Do we need to call the Stalker Helpline, forehead?" The blonde of the group said slowly. I glared at her.

"Not like that you imbecile of a boar," I snapped. "I mean, the Akatsuki is now officially keeping tabs on me. I have begun my quest! It all really starts...from here."

"One of these days being friends with you is going to get me in a shit load of trouble," Temari muttered.

"Yeah, well, ditto," I snapped.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

The next week, I made it my goal to piss off the entirety of the Akatsuki in the ways that mattered-the small things.

Among numerous other things:

I told Itachi he looked like a girl and invited him to attend a girls only sleepover which, sadly, he rejected (Sia and I were so looking forward to braiding his hair).

I asked Kisame if he was related to Nemo or Bruce the shark.

Everytime I saw Zetsu in the halls, I would walk over to him, poke him, then casually announce to the entire hallway in a loud voice that he was 'still human'.

I replaced Deidara's wet clay with super glue.

I snuck into the juniors' art room and put all of Sasori's puppets into dresses and other frilly doll costumes.

I stole Kakuzu's wallet and replaced all of his cash with play money, snuck it back into his locker, and then put the actual cash in Hidan's locker.

I stole Hidan's locker rosary and placed it in Kakuzu's locker.

I replaced Konan's origami paper with cardboard.

I stuck a note to Tobi's locker that read SANTA ISNT REAL.

I didn't do anything to piss off Pein because my goal was to get inside the Akatsuki...not to get murdered.

And, just like the Anti-Hidan Documents, my acts of annoying the hell out of the Akatsuki had the entire school talking about the mysterious person with a grudge against the gang.

It seemed that, though the Akatsuki knew I was the one attempting to irritate the hell out of them (I mean, how could they not? I was surprised the rest of the school hadn't figured it out; I basically broadcast my actions to the entire world), they were waiting for a moment to strike.

I knew that I was in the calm before the storm, and soon I'd have ten Akatsukis after my ass wanting to know if I had a death wish.

Until then, I could only wait.

...And replace Tobi's lollipops with cardboard cutouts.

**_xxxxxxxxxx_**

**A/N: And so the second chapter ends. I promise, hopefully by next chapter we will have an Akatsuki/Sakura confrontation. -rubs hands together eagerly-**

**Thank you to my reviewers: Ketsuki no Kuki, Purple Sunshine56, LivingInSymphony, xXFallenxBeautyxX, Dak Hamee, xXxMusicNCookiesxXx, ers110196. Every review makes me happeh as a Clam(pearl)...sorry I had to make that reference. **

**Again, I'm so sorry this chapter took about a month to write, I had major writer's block for the Sakura/Hidan conversation scene, but I pulled through!...still a little short but hopefully with the entire Akatsuki in the picture by next chapter it will get longer.**

**Ketsuki no Kuki asked for MadaSaku and I said I would leave that up to the readers: So tell me if you want the lovely Madara to appear in this story.**

**Also, on my profile there's a poll for which Akatsuki member Sakura should end up with at the end of CBI, so go and vote vote vote! Pretty please?**

**And one more thing: I need ideas of ways Sakura could piss off individual Akatsukis. Just because there's a big confrontation coming up soon doesn't mean Saku-chan is going to stop trying to annoy them.**

**REVIEW MY LOVELIES~. Reviews help keep the smexy Akatsuki males alive ;D.**

**~Ze RAWR**


	4. Why Hello There Akatsuki

**A/N: Ketsueki no Kuki, hopefully this is a faster update then last time, heh...**

**This chapter is dedicated to the lovely Purple Sunshine56, for without whom I would've been flopping around for weeks trying to think of an awesome enough prank for Sakura to pull on Pein.**

**_cherry blossom infiltration_**

**_Chapter Three_**

**_Why Hello There Akatsuki, the Name's Sakura Haruno_**

* * *

><p>There I was, a week later after another long parade of pranks (I replaced the picture of Kisame's mom with a picture of a shark; I painted the peace symbol all over Hidan's walls; I replaced Kakuzu's boring money bank with a pink Hello Kitty one, I swapped Deidara's hair gel with more super glue [Super Glue is God, don't ever forget it], and I placed Sasori's puppets in compromising positions after painting them neon colors), sitting in the bathtub with one of Tobi's lollipops when I realized what they were waiting for.<p>

Thy were waiting to see if I had the guts to piss off/prank Pein, the ultimate leader.

Although numerous other people of our school had pissed off other members of the Akatsuki before (it was kind of a law here) no one dared to make Pein angry.

After all, the last person who made Pein angry was a teacher, and we never saw him again after that day.

It was so simple; how could I not see it before?

In a blur of motion I was out of the bathtub, in a towel, and dialing Ino.

"Bitch, we have a problem."

* * *

><p>"Sooo...you just have to piss off Pein?" Ino said as we sat on her bed nearly twenty minutes later. "That shouldn't be too hard...right?"<p>

I groaned. "I'm so getting killed."

"You are NOT getting killed, forehead," Ino elbowed me in the side. "Promise."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"So, what's your plan of action anyway?"

"I don't..." I trailed off, staring at a lock of my pink hair. A bazillion and one ideas popped into my head and I smirked. "Boar...I'm going to need access to Pein's room and his car for at least five hours. Scratch that, I'm going to need access to all of the Akatsuki's cars."

Not even bothering to ask why, she spit out the information I needed.

"There's a junior/senior camping trip for three days starting tonight."

And that, dear readers, is why Ino Yamanaka was my best friend in the entirety of the universe.

* * *

><p>Since Itachi and Pein shared a dorm, I was going to need my dear Squirrel-chan's help.<p>

"Dammit Sia! C'mon! I promise I won't do anything to Itachi's side of the dorm," I begged, my eyes wide as I placed my hands together and pouted.

"...I don't know..." She hesitated, looking at the copy of her twin's dorm room key she had in her hand. Although I wasn't sure why, I knew that Sia would be the kooky Uchiha to have keys to her relatives dorms.

"Pleaaaasssseeee?"

"...Okay, fine."

"Yay!" I smiled, tackling her in a hug. "I love you!"

"Can't...breathe...!"

"...Whoops..."

* * *

><p>Approximately two hours later, after I had recieved confirmation from Tenten and Temari, who were also on the camping trip, that the entirety of the Akatsuki was on their way to 'Sandy Meadow', I was in proper ninja gear (all black clothing), carrying cans of paint as I slipped into Pein and Itachi's dorm (Number 537).<p>

I flicked the lights on, looking around. The walls were pretty much bare, with no visible personal touches except a picture of Itachi, Sia, their brother Sasuke, and their cousin Sai near Itachi's bed, and a picture of Pein and Konan near Pein's bed.

Crouching down, I opened a can of paint and tipped it in a tin, smiling evilly as I pulled out my roller brush, rolling in it the vibrant paint.

So Pein wanted to see if I had the balls to pull off a real stunt. Well, he was going to regret it deeply.

I shook my head as I approached a bare wall. Even if the ten of them spent the next two years chasing me around and trying to make my life hell, it would be worth it.

Smirking, I quickly set to work.

* * *

><p>It was almost four hours later when I finished in the parking lot. It had been harder then I thought to find all ten of their cars, but-somehow-I had managed.<p>

At least four teachers had walked by while I was in the middle of my stunt and had done nothing; that just showed how much Pein and his crew were disliked.

Humming to myself, a manilla envelope holding ten photos in hand, I sneaked back in Pein's dorm, placing the envelope on the coffee table. Reaching in my black shoulder bag, I pulled out a spray can and shook it as I walked over to the wall above Pein's bed.

This big of a stunt had to at least get me an audience with Pein-if not the entirety of the Akatsuki.

I grinned. I was so evil.

* * *

><p><strong>[PEIN]<strong>

"Fuck it, I am never fucking going on another fucking camping trip fucking ever fucking again."

The other nine of us sighed; some of us inwardly, some of us outwardly.

"Shut the hell up, Hidan," Kakuzu snapped as I pushed the key in the lock to the dorm room I shared with Itachi.

"You fucking shut the fuck up!"

"Tobi thinks Hidan and Kakuzu should be good boys and stop yelling!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP TOBI!" Hidan, Kakuzu, and Deidara chorused, causing the mask-lover to shrink and hide behind Zetsu.

I mentally groaned as I pushed the door open and fumbled with the lights. "Would you all shut up for a moment while I-..." I trailed off. I had finally found the light switch, and had walked in the door.

Okay, I'll admit it. She was good.

"What the fuck fucking happened here?" Hidan nearly yelled as the rest of the Akatsuki filed in around me and stared at the room.

There were two parts to the room. My side, and Itachi's side. We had split it directly down the middle.

Itachi's side was the usual. Blank walls, organized to a T, with the picture of the four Uchiha cousins.

However, on my side...

The walls were a bright, eye shocking pink. Every piece of furniture was painted neon orange. She had replaced my white-and-black sheets with neon-blue and neon-green ones. The pillow cases were yellow with giant smileys splayed across it. Teddy bears of all colors and sizes covered my bed. The picture of me and Konan had been put in a frame with hearts and peace signs, and the bathroom door had posters of unicorns and puppies and rainbows all over it. At the top, she had spray-painted the words THE LAIR OF 'DOOM'.

Konan stifled a giggle when she saw that. I glared, and she hurriedly smoothed her features.

I turned to the wall my bed rested against, where she had left me a message.

**_SAKURA HARUNO WAS HERE, BITCHES. :P_**

**_P.S. Check the envelope._**

"What env-" At that second, Itachi shoved a manilla package in my hands. "Thanks."

"Hnn."

Opening it, I pulled out a more detailed letter.

_Why Hello There, Akatsuki! The name's Sakura Haruno, as I'm sure you're aware. :P_

_Don't ask me how I did it-because this Haruno doesn't share her secrets. :D_

_It came to my attention that you were waiting for something big-I hope this counts? :P_

_Be expecting your response soon, don't keep me waiting long!_

_P.S. Itachi-I left your part of the room alone because your sister made me, so send her a care package or something. Also, I'm 99% sure she has a key to your dorm room._

_P.P.S. You didn't think this was all I did, did ya? You guys must be loaded or something-those are some sick cars._

_Love-_

My eyes widened as I did a double take, and I reached into the package again, pulling out ten photos.

The top photo was a picture of my car-I only knew this because on the top of the photo she had wrote PEIN'S CAR-AFTER.

What had formerly been my respectable deep red-in-color Highlander was now all black with red-and-white clouds painted randomly on different spots of the car.

Konan, who had been looking over my shoulder, whistled low. "Damn, Pein, that doesn't even look like your car anymore!"

"Let me see!" Kisame grabbed it from my hands and the rest of my gang-excluding Itachi, who was sitting on his bed with a smirk on his face-gathered around to look at the picture.

The next picture was labeled KONAN'S CAR-AFTER

Konan's light blue Volkswagon Bug had not been changed in color. Rather-and this actually surprised me-the pink-haired sophomore had stenciled and painted on about a hundred different designs, paper cranes and origami flowers included.

"Hmm," She said, plucking it from my hands and examining the photo. "I kinda like it better this way, actually."

The next photo was Deidara's.

The explosives-loving blonde had a motorcycle instead of a car, and Sakura, it seemed, had gone to town with that. I stared at the detail of the paint job-she had managed to create what looked like an explosion on almost every inch of Deidara's Harley Davidson (she hadn't touched the leather seat).

"Sasori, Deidara, I think I found a piece of art you two could agree on," I said off handedly, handing the picture to the mentioned redhead.

"Whoa, un!"

"Hmph...not bad."

The next picture was the masterpiece that Sakura had made Itachi's Mustang into.

She had painted the entire thing black again, painting red crows on the back and red eyes with spinning black teardrops on the hood of the car. Hanging from his rearview mirror was what looked like a plushie dango stick. He passed the picture onto Itachi.

Tobi's car was next; formerly a tiny green SmartCar was now painted to look exactly like his mask, orange and black swirls and all. The childish junior cried out in glee as he plucked the photo from my hands.

Kakuzu had surprised them all when he had bought an expensive Prius-which, according to him, would cost him less money in the long haul because of blah, blah, blah-no one had really listened. Sakura'd taken the white Prius and painted it all grey, stenciling in zombie stiches all over the car. On the hood she'd painted a very detailed zombie mask.

Sasori's fire red Ford Focus had been painted a deeper red to match the color of his hair. Then, Sakura had managed to paint at least five-that was all he could count from this view-puppets laying in different positions on all sides of his car.

Hidan's car was a hulking diesel Excursion that rumbled like crazy. First, Sakura had painted the entire thing black. Then, she had added patterns of red to look like blood pools and drops in different places. Finally, on both sides, she had painted two scythes crossing over the symbol of Jashin.

"Fuck yeah!" Hidan cried as he looked at the photo; Deidara, Tobi, and Kisame hovering over his shoulder.

Kisame, lover of all things hardcore and badass (not at all unlike Hidan, actually) had went out and bought a blue Ford F-150. Sakura had turned the paint job into what looked like an ocean floor-going as far as to stencil in starfish and other undersea creatures. On the top of his truck, she had painted on a shark.

Zetsu's was last-his former aqua-y Subaru Outback was now half black, half white. On the top she had painted a Venus Flytrap, which had roots painted on going all the way under the car.

"Holy fuck," Hidan said, as the ten of us stared at the ten pictures spread out on the coffee table. "This girl is genius."

I smirked a little bit. He was right. After deciding that, I spun on my heel and walked out of my room.

"Pein!" Konan cried, running after me. "Where are you going?"

"First, I'm going to check out my car in person. Then...I'm going to go see Miss Haruno. It would be rude to make her wait much longer."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: DUN DUN DUNNN...Yes, it's a kinda-cliffy. Mwahaha. Fear me. I am evil. But I promise that the AkatSaku confrontation, for REALZ will happen next chapter. I'm sorry I didn't get to it this chapter, but the Akatsuki scene turned out longer then I thought it would be. Heh...**

**cherry blossom infiltration: Now with more Hidan swearing. Lol, I hope.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed the change of pace in point of view with my narration of MOTHER FUCKING PEIN. I tried really hard, I'm not too sure I did him justice though...ah well.**

**My thanks to Purple Sunshine56 for the basic idea of the big prank this chapter, although obviously I took it a little farther, ha ha. As for the cars the members of the Akatsuki have, Im not a big car person, so I took the cars I knew the names of them and assigned them to the Akatsuki member I thought would fit best. Ah...I fail.**

**I haven't checked my polls recently, 'cause I use the mobile version on my iPod Touch for pretty much everything besides updating (my home computer's as slow as a turtle) but I think Itachi's in the lead. If he wins, that will be interesting, because I'm pretty sure I'm not incredibly awesome at writing him. Well, FUCK.**

**As for Madara, so far...one yes, one maybe, and two no's. If you want to see him in cbi, TELL ME DAMMIT.**

**iamRAWRkaythanks' Fun Facts for the chapter:**

**o1. Originally I was going to give Hidan a jeep...But then my inner Hidan was all "Fuck nao, bitch, mother fucking Hidan fucking deserves the fucking badass that is the fucking Excursion, bitch!", so I gave in. My mom's boyfriend has a silver Excursion and it's fucking badass. In my opinion.**

**o2. Itachi's car was going to be painted pink, but then I decided between Sakura's hair, Pein's side of his and Ita's dorm, and our lovable weasel's car...well, that was too much pink for one chapter.**

**o3. The cars were painted because of a prank I had Kisame pull on Itachi in my story 'The Joys of High School' (where Itachi's car is actually painted pink). As I was writing this chapter, however, the cars' new paint jobs became gifts from Sakura to the Akatsuki, her way of recognizing that they are mother fucking badass and awesome. So yeah. :D**

**TOBI'S LOLLIPOPS TO ALL MY LOVELY REVIEWERS:**

**alyssaangel15, Bloody Massacre, yuikiyaya, ers110196, Lozbii, L.M.D.A.A, Ketsueki no Kuki, lightwolfheart, xXxMusicNCookiesxXx, music1462, and, of course, Purple Sunshine56! You are all incredibly awesome and every time I get a review I squeal in uncontrollable glee. Haha.**

**Keep on reviewin'; it helps me get motivated enough to piece together my ideas for a chapter and gets me to upload faster, although don't expect an update every three days; I'm job hunting and preparing for going to college this winter quarter. Ugh.**

**Again, if you have prank ideas, include them in your reviews. If I use your prank I will acknowledge you!**

**Also...if you haven't voted on the poll of who Sakura should end up with, DO IT NAO. Srsly.**

**Who's car did you like best? I CAN'T DECIDE! It's a tie between Konan's and Deidara's for me. :P**

**Loves, lollipops, hugglez-**

**_iamRAWRkaythanks_**


	5. The Cornering of Sakura Haruno

**A/N: Let the AkatSaku stalking commence.**

**_cherry blossom infiltration_**

**_Chapter Four_**

**_The Cornering of Sakura Haruno_**

**_(or, How She Became Royally Screwed Part I)_**

* * *

><p>They were back. I had seen Temari and Tenten, so I knew without a shadow of a doubt that they were back.<p>

I tried to steel my nerves as I stepped out of my dorm room, bag over my shoulder, to head down for dinner, walking down the empty hallway. I could only hope the Akatsuki wouldn't be completely cruel and make me wait so long that I couldn't sleep in fear of them.

I shook my head, squaring my shoulders. I wasn't of afraid of the Akatsuki. I never would be. They were people, just like me. They had weaknesses. They were not invincible.

Just as I had began to push my fear away, he stepped out of the shadows.

"Sakura Haruno."

"Holy fucking Kami!" I near yelled, almost dropping my bag. "What the fuck, do you walk through walls or what!"

He smirked at me, his piercings glinting in the light as his orange hair shone. "That's just ridiculous, don't you think?"

"When it comes to you and the rest of the Akatsuki, is anything ridiculous anymore?" I snorted, readjusting my bag as I continued to walk ahead. Without hesitating he fell into step with me.

"That's a good point...perhaps the same could be said of you. I mean, really, unicorns?" Pein asked rather good-naturedly. I was actually a little scared that he hadn't threatened me or started to beat me up yet.

"Mmm...that was a little much, wasn't it," I mused as we stopped in front of the elevators. I hit the down button.

"It was completely uncalled for."

"Don't diss the unicorns, Akatsuki," I said half heartedly as we stepped into the elevator.

"You've got guts, I'll give you that," Pein said. As I turned to face him, I couldn't keep my eyes off his snake bites. "But I have to know...why are you messing with us?"

I looked him in the eye, trying to keep a straight face. "I was bored."

He blinked. "...Seriously?"

"Seriously."

He stared at me for a second before his face split in a smirk, chuckles spilling out of his (ohsogorgeous) mouth.

"Well Miss Sakura," He said as the elevator reached our destination-the first floor. "I have to say I think you're very interesting." Pein stepped out, still smirking. "I'll be in touch."

I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped as I hesitantly stepped out of the elevator as well, my gaze trained on his retreating back.

What the HELL had that been?

* * *

><p>"Hellooooo? Anyone in there? Earth to the Forehead!"<p>

Blinking slowly, Ino's face came into focus as I realized that I had reached the dining hall and was sitting down. "Oh...hey Ino. Sorry, I just spaced out."

The platinum blonde snorted. "Sak, I was trying to get your attention for like five minutes. You were not just 'spaced out', you were in another damn universe," She used air quotes. "Wanna tell me what's up?"

"...Pein thinks I'm...interesting."

My childhood friend stared back at me. "And...?"

"And, he's hot!" I groaned. "Ino, I don't think I can do this."

"Nonsense billboard brow," The shopaholic scoffed, removing the lid to her salad container. "Yes you can. You're just freaking out. It's perfectly understandable."

I huffed, blowing an errant pink lock of hair out of my eyesight. "I hate you, you whore."

"Luv ya too, bitch."

* * *

><p>"Haruno-san!" A bright, cheery voice called, tugging my attention upwards.<p>

It was three days after my 'friendly conversation' with Pein and I was sitting in a courtyard, reading a book.

"Ah...hello Konan-sempai," I said politely, putting my bookmark in place and shutting the book with a thud. "What can I do for you?"

The blue-haired female took a seat next to me on the bench, her cheerful eyes smiling at me. "I wanted to say thank you. The design you did on my car was wonderful."

"Oh...uhm, you're welcome?" I shrugged. "I kind of hoped it would bribe you guys not to kill me, just give me a fierce beating."

Konan laughed at that, her eyes still twinkling. "It's refreshing to have another female to talk to," She informed me. "The boys-beside Itachi-aren't really listeners, and Itachi barely says a word."

I couldn't help but giggle a bit at that. "Sounds like sooo much fun," I said sarcastically.

She half-grinned at me. "Oh, tons," She replied back just as sarcastically, and we both burst into laughter.

Ten minutes later we managed to calm down. Still looking incredibly happy, Konan offered up some valuable information.

"Pein's really interested in you. He's talking about having you join the Akatsuki."

"Really?" I managed to gasp. "Oh...oh wow. Sheesh."

"Well," The blue haired female said, standing up. "Whether you end up joining or not, I would like to be friends. Have a good day, Sakura-san." And with that, she was gone.

I groaned. Stupid Akatsuki and their ability to appear and disappear at will.

* * *

><p>I was in the library that same afternoon when I bumped into another Akatsuki member.<p>

I had pulled a random mystery book off a shelf when I stiffened. I could feel his eyes on my back, and it took all I had not to shiver when a hand landed on my shoulder.

"Sakura-san."

"Itachi-san," I acknowledged as I spun around to face him. "Can i help you?" I said, although my tone made it clear what I thought he could do with any favor he might ask me.

The Uchiha smirked. "Hnn."

"I'm sorry, I don't talk ice cube," I snapped, tucking my book under my arm. "You're going to have to be a little more specific and use, oh, I don't know, actually words," I declared with a huff, barely containing myself from hitting him in the arm with my mystery novel.

"What fun is there in that?" He smirked.

I glared, spun on my heel, and stormed out of the library.

Stupid infuriating, sexy, delectable asshole.

* * *

><p>"Hey bitch!"<p>

My shoulders tensed and I groaned as I stopped in the middle of a hallway. I was still pissed from my encounter with Itachi and there was nothing I wanted to do more then punch Hidan in the face hard enough to send him flying through five walls.

"What?" I snapped as I turned around to glare at him.

"Damn, pinky, that's badass," He grinned, hands in his pockets. "However, I'm kamidamned immune to shitting Glares of Doom. It fucking comes with the territory when you hang with shitheads like Kakuzu."

"That's y'know, great and all, but, again-what the fuck do you want?"

He grinned at me and began to walk closer to me, as if I was his prey (I'm pretty sure I was).

_**HOTTIE WITH A BODY AT SIX O'CLOCK!**_

_Wtf? Who are you?_ I shouted in my mind.

**_I'm yo pimp, BI-OTCH!_**

"Sa-ku-ra..."

I squeaked as I realized that, while I was having a conversation in my mind, Hidan had managed to corner me against a wall, a fierce predatory gaze on his face.

"Dammit, Hidan, get the hell away from me, you bastard!" I swore, cheeks flushing red.

He gave a half-moan, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "You are so damn hot when you fucking swear."

I mentally groaned, narrowing my eyes at him. "Back. Off."

"Shit, bitch, and if I don't damn want to?" He grinned. "Are ya fucking gonna...make me?"

And that's when he put his lips on mine.

* * *

><p>Hidan kissed like he was starving and the only way he could surive was by kissing me hard and fast and nonstop.<p>

And-I hate to admit this-he was really good at it too.

About ten seconds in I was a willing participant and five seconds after that I was just as eager as he was.

Before you get all judge-y and preachy on me I would like to say that, normally, I don't get this much attention.

My best friend is Ino Yamanaka for kami's sake; she could be a model if she dropped her foul mouth that was almost as bad as mine.

My other best friend is Sia. As crazy and hyper as she is, she does have the Uchiha genetics, looks wise. Fanboys drool at her feet.

So, yes, it was nice to feel wanted. It was nice to know someone thought I was hot. But I wasn't just kissing Hidan because I craved attention.

I was kissing him because I wanted to. I was kissing him because I found him attractive.

_**YOU GO GIRL!**_ That annoying voice in my head shouted, but I ignored it as I pulled away from the silver-haired junior, lungs burning as I gasped for air.

"Damn, pinky," Hidan smirked.

"Shut the hell up," I snapped, pushing him away from me and hurriedly walking down the hall towards my dorm.

Just what had I gotten myself into?

* * *

><p>"Do you want to talk about it?" Temari asked as I stomped in, throwing my bag on the floor and flopping down on my bed.<p>

"I'm fucked," I groaned through my pillow. "Seriously, Mari, just shoot me now."

The sandy blonde eyed me with an amused look, one eyebrow raised. "Sakura, imma need you to be a little more specific."

"Mmmmmfklmm!"

"...Yeah I did not understand a single word of that," The Sabaku tsked.

I lifted my head. "I kissed Hidan and I liked it."

Temari stared at me. "Well. Shit."

"That's what I said," I grumbled, faceplanting back into my pillow.

There was silence for about two minutes, then she said, "Good luck with that!"

I threw a shoe at her.

* * *

><p>"...I'm scared."<p>

"Aren't Uchihas supposed to be fearless?"

"Well, Sia isn't exactly that normal of a Uchiha, is she?"

"HEY!"

It was 7:40 am the next morning and I was stabbing my pancakes rather then eating them. I had been doing so for the past seven minutes, ever since I sat down to eat breakfast with Sia, Ino, Temari, and Tenten. Kami only knew where Hinata was.

"I think you can relax, Sia, I doubt she's gonna stab YOU with that fork."

"SAYS YOU!"

I was still utterly pissed off at flipping Hidan, that stupid jackass! He had no right to kiss me. I couldn't believe he had-and that I had liked it.

Growling, my grip around my plastic fork tightened until it snapped in half.

"...Meep!"

"Sia...GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

"...What the hell happened, anyway, Temari?"

"All she said was that Hidan kissed her."

"HE DID WHAT!"

"Ino, put the knife DOWN!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

* * *

><p>"Haruno-san...why is there a blonde sophomore running around the school screaming for Hidan's death?"<p>

I tilted my head up from the book I was reading from. It was study hall, and I had been hoping to get a head start on my history homework. But apparently not, because the Akatsuki had taken up to showing up wherever I was.

It was getting really annoying.

"If you must know, Kakuzu-san, it's because he kissed me yesterday," I replied as I looked back down at the encyclopedia I had been using, flipping the page absentmindedly. "Unfortunately, I have yet to get revenge for his actions by kicking him where the sun don't shine."

A pause. "I...see. Well, thank you, Haruno-san." The squeak of a chair being pushed back, the creak of a floorboard as someone rested their weight on their feet. "I appreciate the valuable information." His quiet footsteps padded away.

I shut the encyclopedia with a thoughtful look before grabbing my bag and walking out of the library. I needed to corral Ino before she did any permanent damage.

* * *

><p>Temari and I, along with most of the other students at KDA, were settling in for a peaceful night when we heard it-<p>

"YOU HAVE UNLEASHED THE WRATH OF THE ALMIGHTY PEIN. HOW DARE YOU BETRAY MY GODLINESS. I SHALL RAPE THE SOUL OF JASHIN. COME TO ME, MY MINIONS!"

"Pein, put the fucking baseball bat down, un! DON'T HIT HIDAN WITH IT, UN!"

"Where the hell are his meds? HIDAN, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Shit, Kakuzu, IT'S NOT FUCKING LIKE I TRIED TO GET HIM DAMNED PISSED AT ME, you BASTARD!"

"WOULD ALL OF YOU INCOMPETANT MALES SHUT UP AND HAND ME THE GODDAMN ROPE!"

"..." I turned to look at my roommate, who was trying very hard not to show her amusement, but was ultimately failing.

"So," She eventually managed. "Like I said before, have fun with that!"

I turned to face the wall and began banging my head on it.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP TOBI!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I heart Pein so much...I wish I had a plushie of him...anyway...**

**That's right, I'm back bitches! Jk, I kid, I love you all…**

**I swear to Kami, originally Sakura was going to have a scene with every Akatsuki member in this chapter, but then Hidan decided to be a manwhore and fuck things up, Sakura's girlfriends demanded screen time, and Inner Sakura began worming her way into the story. Sigh. I suppose Zetsu, Kisame, Tobi, and the art twins will just have to wait until next chapter. :P**

**And, YES, random Akatsuki members keep popping up wherever our lovely Sakura-chan goes because they are stalking her. On Pein's orders, of course, cause, I mean, why would they do so anyway? It's not like she's a little interesting spitfire or anything. Pfft. Please.**

**I tried to show different sides to Sakura, which is why she wasn't completely snarky and badass the entire time...I'm working on it! Ugh.**

**I added more curse words to Hidan's vocabulary so now he can be even more creative with how he swears! YAY! Yeah, up until now he pretty much only said 'fuck' because when I get all angry and shit that's what I do. :P I know, fail. Sigh.**

**About the Hidan/Sakura scene-our Jashinist is the biggest manwhore out of all of the Akatsuki. Therefore, only he will have the manwhore-ness to pursue Sakura before she officially joins Akatsuki. It's not like the others aren't interested in her right now (coughPeinandItachicoughcough), it's just that they are bidding their time in pursuing her affections. After all, we all know Hidan is an impatient bastard.**

**This way fast update is because of you, my reviewers. Reading your reviews spurred ideas and I've been writing nonstop for the past two or three nights. I haven't been able to sleep much. ...Yeah. I fail.**

**THANKS TO MY KICKASS REVIEWERS:**

**Bloody Massacre, Luna, lightwolfheart, Ketsueki no Kuki, Purple Sunshine56, Mitchy821, ers110196, yuikiyaya, Nox Maltid, music1462, strawberry030, and L.M.D.A.A. You all are awesome! You had no idea how worried I was about how you guys would respond to the cars-so thank you for your positive feedback!**

**I don't have anything else to say about this chapter, so on overall story issues:**

**Madara. I have decided he will make minor appearance later on. Mostly so the Akatsuki males can go all sexy-protective on his ass. At least, that's my idea for now. Who knows how that will actually go down...**

**cbi Poll. Again-I have a feeling I'm going to be saying this every chapter for quite a while-if you haven't voted on who you want Sakura to end up with, go to my profile page now and do so.**

**Pranks. If you come up with any stunts you think Sakura could pull on the Akatsuki, inform me in your review or drop me a PM.**

**Questions? Ask away; I'd be happy to try and answer!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! -clutches Pein-kun plushie tighter-**

**Luvs,**

**Ze RAWR~**


	6. Warning This is a Sexy Zone

**A/N: Look, you guys! It's Zetsu! You know, that guy with two personalities and green hair!...Yes, HIM. Please, I did NOT forget about him-what are you talking about?**

**_cherry blossom infiltration_**

**_Chapter Five_**

**_Warning: This is a Sexy Zone_**

**_(or, How She Became Royally Screwed Part II)_**

* * *

><p>"I'm kinda afraid to go to classes," I confided in Ino as we slowly approached Homeroom with Kakashi-sensei.<p>

"Please. I'm pretty damn sure they're not stupid enough to interrupt homeroom to snatch you or whatever. And with that Akatsuki-free time, you will get your confidence back up again."

I just glared at her. "What, do you sleep with earplugs in? Did you not hear last night's fiasco?"

"I heard it forehead," She groaned. "Jeez, where is the risk-taker that is my best friend? Did she get kidnapped by aliens?"

I tripped her.

* * *

><p>"PINK HAIRED-CHAAAANNNN!"<p>

Everything went in slow motion. I turned around, a look of horror crossing my face as the orange blob flew towards me-

BANG!

"FUCKINGSHITDAMNBITCHFUCK!" I yelled, holding my head. Tobi had tackled me into a locker and I had hit my head.

"Tobi is so sorry! Will pink haired-chan ever forgive Tobi?" He sniffed, looking at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes in the world.

...I swear. If there was like a competition for puppy dog eyes, he would SO win the gold medal.

"I'm fine," I managed through clenched teeth. "Ah, Tobi? Can you get off me?"

"Ah! Of course pink haired-chan!" Tobi chirped as he hopped up off the ground, completely fine.

...Damn him and his never ending energy.

Brushing myself, I rose to my feet, eyeing Tobi as he stared at me. "Uhm...hello?"

"Pink haired-chan, Tobi is sorry! Tobi was just thinking how cute pink haired-chan is!"

"...Uh...right," I said slowly. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." I started walking away.

"Oh! Pink haired-chan, wait! Tobi forgot to tell pink haired-chan that Pein-sempai wants to meet with pink haired-chan after dinner!"

I swear to Kami-or Jashin, whoEVER-my heart stopped right then and there.

* * *

><p>Poke. Poke. Poke.<p>

"Sia," I growled during math. "Stop. Poking. Me."

The black-haired Uchiha just blinked at me innocently. "But Saku-kun! You're spacing!"

I had been, not that anyone could blame me. Pein Nagato, head of Akatsuki, wanted to meet with me one-on-one.

"Sorry Sia. I was just thinking about...tonight."

The junior's lips formed an 'O'. "Riiiiiight," She said, nodding wisely. "I forgot about that. Whatever you do, Saku, don't get killed."

I gave her a 'wtf-are-you-kidding-me' look. "Really Sia? That's all the advice you have for me?"

"Saku, I am not a self-helpbook. What do you WANT from me?" She snorted. "It's not like there's a book for how to talk to Pein Nagato without getting killed."

"Once again, your helpfulness astounds me," I said sarcastically.

Sia looked at me. "Bitch, please. I'm an Uchiha. What did you expect?"

"...Touché," I sighed.

* * *

><p>Fifth period art class. Which I happened to share with Sasori AND Deidara. Oh yeah, that was going to be fun.<p>

I sighed, pulling open the wooden door.

"Miss Haruno, good to see you!" My teacher, Kurenai, waved. Only a handful of us were on time on any given day, but she didn't really care.

I smiled back, heading to my desk, where I pulled out my sketchbook. Neither of the art twins was here yet; thank Kami.

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting, un!"

"ETERNAL!"

"Fleeting!"

Screw me and my big mouth; I had spoken too soon. The door opened and in they came.

"Mr Iwa, Mr Akasuna!" Kurenai greeted happily. "Good to see you two on time for once!"

The two artists paused their argument to return her hello, and that's when Deidara saw me.

"Sakura-chan, un!"

**_Mmmmmmm, he's a cutie!_** The voice-apparently my 'Inner'-purred.

_Yeah, no,_ I hissed. "Hello Deidara-sempai..."

He sat down next to me, peering over my shoulder at my drawings. "Whatcha drawing, Sakura-chan, un?"

"None of your business Dei-AAGH!"

Sasori blinked at me from my other side. "Something wrong, Haruno-san?"

_Yeah, you're both too close! _I snapped in my head.

_**Ah, honey, they're not close enough!**_

"Ah...you just scared me..." I nearly stuttered, shutting my sketchbook. They were both leaning forward towards me. They were so close I could smell their hair.

**_*Their deliciously edible hair of gods!_**

_Shut the Jashin up, you whore!_

Sasori laid a hand on my sketchbook. "Something in there you don't want us to see, Haruno-san?" He murmured into my left ear.

"They're personal," I snapped, fairly aware of Deidara on my other side as I glared Sasori down.

"Are they really Sakura-chan, un?" Deidara breathed into my right ear.

**_HOTTIE OVERLOAD! MUST REBOOT!_**

I could feel the blush heating my cheeks. "Uhm. Y-yeah..."

"That's too bad..." The redhead mused, the hand on my sketchbook retreating to lay on my arm.

"We really wanted to see how good of an artist you are, Sakura-chan, un," Deidara finished.

_Kamidammit,_ I cursed. Out loud, I said, "Maybe some other time."

"We'll hold you to that," Sasori said, straightening up. "Brat, we need to finish our paintings...although I'm not sure yours could even count as one."

The blond, flushing angrily, straightened up. "I'll show you a painting, danna, un!" He snapped as they made their way over to the easels.

As soon as they were gone, I slumped forward, my head hitting the desk. Holy shit. Were they trying to kill me with an overload of sexiness?

**_And just think,_** My inner sighed happily. **_We're meeting with Pein the sex god tonight._**

My only response was a groan.

* * *

><p>"Ah, Haruno-san. I thought I would find you here."<p>

It was seventh period-horticulture-and I was in the greenhouse, tending to lilys I had been nurturing for most of the quarter.

"Zetsu-sempai!" I smiled. The two of us had done a horticulture project earlier in the year and I thought he was one of the nicer Akatsuki members, although his green hair was a little weird. Not that I could talk, with my vibrant pink locks. "What's up?"

"I'm supposed to remind you that Pein wants to talk to you. Unless Tobi forgot to tell you-"

"Nope, I'm fully aware," I said as I put the lilys back on the shelf.

"Good," He said as he watched me work.

"Do you know what he wants, anyway?" I absentmindedly asked as I wrote in my notebook.

"No. I don't think he's told anyone."

"Ah, well," I shrugged, shutting my notebook. "it was worth asking. Thanks Zetsu-sempai!"

As I exited the greenhouse, I was completely unaware of his eyes following my every move.

* * *

><p>"You okay, Sakura?" Tenten asked during dinner.<p>

I signed. "I'm fine. Just a little nervous."

"If you d-don't want t-to talk to h-him..." Hinata started, but I shook my head.

"If I don't go to him, he's going to corner me at an inoppurtune time," I said as I stabbed a piece of pasta. "I'd rather get this over with ASAP."

"Good idea, Saku-kun!" Sia chirped, patting my shoulder. "Just remember, don't get killed!"

"Again, thanks for the ever-so-helpful advice, Sia," I playfully snarled, flinging a raviolli at her.

She ducked, and the six of us absentmindedly watched as it sailed through the air, landing in some oblivious freshman's hair. Snickering, she replied, "Anytime Saku-dear!"

I huffed for about the fifty-sixth time that day, blowing a lock of hair out of my face. It was at that second that I noticed an abnormally large shadow covering my tray.

"Sharky-sempai!" Sia chirped happily, confirming my suspicisions.

"Hey squirt," Kisame Hoshigaki acknowledged her as I turned around in my seat to look up at him. "Ready to go, spitfire?"

I glared, flinging a raviolli at him. He just snatched it out of the air, dropping it in an unaware sophomore's bag.

"I'm not done eating, starfish," I huffed.

He just shrugged. "Too bad. Pein wants to see you now."

I pushed my unfinished dinner to Temari, standing up, pulling my bag over my shoulder. "Fine then. Lead the way, kelp."

* * *

><p>"The hallway of doom when the lights are on," I said as I followed Kisame to Pein's room. "It doesn't look as scary as I thought it would be..."<p>

The senior just looked at me like I was insane. "You've been down here before, when you fucked with Pein's room, right?"

"Uh-huh. But I turned the lights off so I could feel like a ninja."

"...Did it work?" He asked.

"Hm?"

"Did you feel like a ninja?"

"I didn't just feel like a ninja, kelp-I was one. Pssht, amateurs," I mumbled.

He just chuckled as we reached Room 537, which now had a sign on the door-"THE LAIR OF DOOM". I giggled as I recognized the catchphrase.

"Oi, Pein, open up!" Kisame yelled, hitting the door. "I brought Haruno like you asked!"

The door eased open and there stood Pein in all his-**_Sexilicious Piercing_**-glory.

"Thank you, Kisame. You may go." As the blue-haired senior lumbered off, he turned his attention to me.

My knees went weak.

**_Oh dear Jashin and all things that are sexy..._**

_For once, _ mused as Pein looked at me, a smirk on his lips. _I agree with you._

"So, Miss Sakura," He said, stepping aside and beckoning me in. "We have a lot to talk about, no?"

"So we do," I replied, trying to keep my voice even as I walked inside. The walls were still pink, and he hadn't gone out to get new sheets or pillowcases, but the picture of him and Konan was back in it's original frame, the teddy bears were piled in a corner, and he taken down the posters covering the bathroom door.

He turned to look at me, and I met his gaze evenly.

"I'm going to cut straight to the chase," He informed me, that damn smirk still on his face.

"You do that."

"You interest us, Sakura," He plowed on, ignoring my witty comment. "Some of us, more then others-"

"Im hoping you remembered to take your pills this morning."

"-but still, we all want to get to know you better."

"I'm honored," I said sarcastically.

"What I'm saying is-Sakura Haruno, would you like to join the Akatsuki?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: THAT'S RIGHT, ZE RAWR LEFT IT ON A CLIFFHANGER. What!**

**I was floundering around for two days trying to figure out how to end this chapter when I realized, OHMYJASHIN, I had forgotten Kisame! So that's why he's Saku-kun's guide this chapter. D:**

**I iz jealous of Sakura, she was cornered by Deidara and Sasori at the same time. Sniff. So much hawtness, so little time.**

**When I was writing Inner Sakura, she kept going all Southern Belle on me. -facepalm-**

**Once again, your feedback is astounding! I HAD NEW REVIEWERS! -happy dance- MY THANKS TO: Angel From Hell96, Lozbii, Ketsueki no Kuki, ers110196, L.M.D.A.A., RaccoonMetal, Black snake eyes, shadikal4ever, TheHyperLlamaWithPocky, Purple Sunshine56, music1462, and lightwolfheart! I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**Again: if you haven't voted yet, DO SO. Leave any prank ideas and REVIEW!**

**-snuggles Gaara plushie-,**

**Ze RAWR**


	7. Sakura Makes Her Decision

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, I literally had no ideas for this chapter for days.**

**_cherry blossom infiltration_**

**_Chapter Six_**

**_Sakura Makes Her Decision...Kinda_**

* * *

><p>"Wow, Pein, that's a lot to ask, don'tcha think?" I said, trying to hide my uneasiness (those bears were staring at me! CONSPIRACY!). I shifted on one foot as my eyes locked with his...oh how I could drown in those liquid pools of sexiness...<p>

He shrugged. "Konan likes you, the guys like you-"

"Yeah, newsflash, I already knew that."

Pein sighed at me. "What's it going to be, Miss Sakura?"

I bit my lip. "I need twenty-four hours to think about it," I said, during on my heel and walking out of his room. "Night! Sleep tight!"

* * *

><p>"Whyyyy didn't you say yes?"<p>

"Pig, you sound like you're dying."

"I do not! Take that back!" Ino gasped as I smirked. Victory for Haruno, bitches.

"Can't take it back when it's true," I sang as we walked down the hall.

"FOREHEAD-"

"Whoa, someone's angry," Tenten smiled as she walked up to us. "What happened?"

"I said she sounded like she was dying," I answered simply, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know why she's so riled up."

Ino glared so fiercely that, had I been a lesser person, I probably would've burst into flames.

"Just don't kill each other," The brunette rolled her eyes as she walked across the hall into Maito Gai's classroom.

"I make no promises!" Ino and I chorused, before semi-glaring at each other.

* * *

><p>"They're TOTALLY staring at you."<p>

"Stop looking, guys," I hissed under my breath as the six of us continued to run laps (Anko Mitarashi-sensei was a bitch) around the trackfield.

"Even my brother's staring!" Sia said in a tone of awe, and ducked as I made to smack her.

At the same time as our class was doing laps, Ibiki Morino-sensei's was playing soccer on the field. And, who just happened to be in Ibiki's class? All ten of the Akatsuki.

Just my fucking luck.

_**SO MANY HOTTIES SO LITTLE TIME!**_ My inner squealed. I sighed, ignoring her.

"They're playing soccer, they're not staring," Ino corrected as a senior from Ibiki's class whistled loudly at her. She giggled, waving at him, before turning back to us. "It's more like glancing."

"I hate you all. Except for Hinata!" I pounced on the navy-blue-haired girl, causing her to stumble as we laughed and tried to regain our balance.

"I bet half the guys watching are fantisizing about some lesbian action," Tenten spoke up, causing Sia and Ino to laugh while Hinata blushed.

"I think Hidan has a nosebleed," Temari smirked, causing our resident cheerleader's eyes to narrow.

"Where is he? I'll MURDER-"

"INO, SHUT UP!" All of us yelled as we completed our twentieth lap.

She pouted. "You guys are so mean to me!"

"You deserve it," Temari grinned.

The shopaholic narrowed her eyes, then leapt onto the dirty blonde's back to do some damage, knocking her elbow into my side in the process.

I flailed, grabbing Sia for support-who, in turn, grabbed Tenten-and we tumbled onto the track loudly and painfully.

**_DEATH BY TRACK! DEATH BY TRACK! WE'RE GONNA DIIIEEEEE!_**

"FUCKING MOTHER OF JASHIN!" I screeched, and I vaguely heard Hidan yell, "That's fucking right bitch!" as Sia and Tenten tumbled on top of me.

Turns out, our fall had knocked Ino and Temari over, too. Only Hinata remained upright.

"Sakura-chan!" I could hear Deidara's voice, a hint of worry in his tone. "Are you alright, un?"

**_Maybe you should kiss us better, _**My inner cooed, and I mentally facepalmed.

"Brother," Sia moaned to my left as she rolled off of me. "I don't think I'm going to make it."

"Hnn. You'll survive."

I cracked my eyes open to find Anko-sensei, Ibiki-sensei, Hinata and the Akatsuki gathered around the five of us. From the hushed murmurs, I assumed the rest of the two classes had also gathered around as well.

"Haruno," Anko-sensei said, the tiniest bit of concern on her face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine sensei." The five of us stood up as one, and I took the opportunity to punch Ino in the arm. "You bitch, this is all your fucking fault!"

I heard a slight whimper from Hidan, followed by two smacks probably delivered by Pein and Kakuzu.

"Alright, then. MAGGOTS, GET BACK TO RUNNING!" Anko yelled.

"My class, back to the game," Ibiki ordered, and the class began to disperse.

Hidan grinned wildly, waving at me as he returned to the field. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I recalled what I had said when my body impacted with the ground.

Temari, standing next to me as the Akatsuki returned to their soccer match, nudged me in the side, winking. I growled low at her as we watched Itachi struggle to remove an energetic Sia from his person.

"I'm starting to think," Tenten giggled. "That whether you say yes or no, the Akatsuki already considers you one of them."

"Fuck my life," I mumbled as we began running once more.

* * *

><p>The last period of the day ended at three, and dinner didn't start til six, which meant that I had three hours until Pein and his hoes (because they so WERE his hoes) expected my answer.<p>

I, of course, from the minute he asked me if I wanted to join, knew my answer. However, I didn't want to seem like a total pushover, so I had demanded time 'to think'.

I was thinking alright, but I wasn't thinking what most people who knew what was going on right know thought I would be deliberately.

No, I was thinking that Tenten was right.

Hidan, Deidara, Pein, and even Itachi had expressed interest in me, Hidan being the least subtle. Zetsu and I were friendly, Konan wanted to be my big sister, Sasori acknowleged me, Tobi thought I was the coolest thing since sliced bread, Kisame was like my older brother, and Kakuzu kept showing up everywhere I went.

I couldn't deny it. Whether I verbally accepted it or not, I was already in.

Which, of course, left only one thing to do.

* * *

><p>The entire cafetira hushed as I walked in the doors, bag slung over my shoulder.<p>

Catching Ino's eye as I passed by my usual table, I winked at her, and she grinned mischeviously back before passing the message on to the other four as my feet continued to carry me across the room.

Taking a deep breath, I stopped next to the Akatsuki's table.

"Sakura-chan, un?" Deidara asked.

I shifted it bag, biting my lip. "So, guys," I started. "Got a seat for your newest member?"

The smiles that broke across their faces as Pein ordered Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan to 'scoot the fuck down' made my heart skip a beat in my chest.

"Fuck yeah we do!" Hidan responded, and Pein grabbed my wrist to pull me down to sit next to him.

As numerous trays were shoved in my face-"You can eat our leftovers, if you want"-my heart flopped in my chest again, unable to hear anything except the sound of my fellow members of the Akatsuki.

I was in. Without a doubt.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It seems so short, but I had to cut it off here or it would end up being really long and I hate super long chapters. I know, a long wait for such a tiny thing must be upsetting.**

**I've failed you! Sniff.**

**On a more happier note, if you're all cool with it, we'll take a break next chapter from life at Konoha Directions and see what happened on the junior/senior camping trip from the Akatsuki's perspective. YAY BONUS CHAPTER! -throws confetti-**

**cbi was on the backburner for the last couple of weeks as I'm making my schedule for winter quarter at my local community college, and I was hit in the head by plot bunnies with an idea for a MultiSaku Supernatural AU, so I've been spending a lot of time on figuring out the final details for that. Hopefully I can get the first chapter out soon. -crosses fingers-Also, I discovered the Canadian show Flashpoint, so I've been watching that instead of writing. -hides from angry readers-**

**When we get back with the main storyline...Well, I'll give you one hint: Team Jackets.**

**All my thanks to my lovely reviewers:**

**pacchiri cherii, Dak Hamee, chasingsunsets0, alyssaangel15, ..CHoMP., kalitty98, Black snake eyes, Bloody Massacre, L.M.D.A.A., shadikal4ever, music1462, strawberry030, Ketsueki no Kuki (yes, when Madara appears, there will be minor MadaSaku), Purple Sunshine56, ihearitachiuchiha, yuikiyaya, and ers110196! YOU ALL ROCK!**

**I haven't checked the poll in the last four chapters, but I'm vaguely certain Itachi is still on top, which means that he'll be one of the final three guys our lovely and sarcastic Sakura will have to choose between. I'll say it again: IF YOU HAVENT VOTED, DO IT NAOW!**

**Reviews, please, lovelies, and if you have new pranks-send me a PM.**

**Akatsuki Hawties and Chocolate,**

**iamRAWRkaythanks**


	8. Bonus Akatsuki Goes Camping

**A/N: That's right, I'm busting out a bonus chapter as 1) a thank you to all my reviewers, and 2) an apology for recently neglecting cbi.**

**cherry blossom infiltration**

**Bonus Chapter 1**

**Akatsuki Goes Camping**

* * *

><p>"Tobi thinks we should sing songs!"<p>

The other nine members of the Akatsuki, seated all the way in the back of one of the three buses that were driving KD juniors and seniors to Sandy Meadows, stared at him in horror and disbelief.

"Sing one fucking word, shithead, and I'll rip your damn tongue out and sacrifice your bitch ass to Jashin!" Hidan swore, smacking the hyperactive boy on the head.

"Hidan-sempai, you gave Tobi an owie!" Tobi whined pathetically.

The silver-haired junior rolled his eyes and snorted. "Fuckin' good."

"Shut up, Hidan, you're making me lose track!" Senior Kakuzu snapped two seats back, where he had a stack of cash in his hands.

The Jashinist flipped him off. "Fuck off, bastard!"

"Hidan, Kakuzu, knock it off!" Pein said irritably. "You're giving me a migraine!"

"Konan-chan," Sasori asked from behind the blue-haired female and Pein, Deidara sitting next to the puppet maker. "Did Pein-sama bring his meds?"

The origami lover froze in horror, racking her brain to see if she knew the answer to that question. "I don't know...ask Itachi."

"Uchiha?" Sasori said, turning around to look at the stoic junior.

"...Hnn."

The rest of the Akatsuki paled, stiffening.

Hidan said it best-

"Well, fucking shit!"

* * *

><p>"I swear to Kami Deidara, if you blow up a single tent while we're here I will DESTROY your motorcycle," Pein said approximately an hour later.<p>

They had arrived at the Sandy Meadows Campgrounds (luckily with no outbursts from Pein), and were pitching tents in the boys' section. Konan, of course, had to sleep with the other girls, but Pein was never going to forget when one of the employees mistook Deidara and Itachi for girls and tried to get them on the proper side.

Hidan and Kisame had nearly died laughing at the 'I WILL KILLZ YOUZ' look Itachi had worn.

Deidara wrinkled his nose. "Yes, Pein-sama, un."

"Pein-sama, can Tobi and friends sing songs NOW?"

"Someone needs to shut him fucking up!" Kisame said as he crawled into his extra-long one-person-tent.

"I have duck tape," Sasori said, pulling a large roll of silver duck tape out of nowhere.

"...Don't want to know," Pein said as he headed for his own tent. "Deidara, Itachi-there are no plugs for your hair straighteners here!"

Hidan snickered loudly before he was smacked by Kakuzu.

"No fucking arguing until morning!"

And since Pein had decreed it so, so it was.

Y'know, except not.

* * *

><p>On the other side of the campsite...<p>

Silence.

Stare. Stare. Stare.

"Seriously?" Tenten asked, looking at the blue-haired senior in front of her.

"Seriously."

Temari just facepalmed.

* * *

><p>"ARISE MY MAGGOT MINIONS!" Shouted Anko Mitarashi-sensei, one of the chaperones for this trip.<p>

Pein bolted up from dead sleep, eyes ablaze. "I AM NO MINION! I AM GOD!"

"Deidara, did you remember to bring the knockout gas in case this gets any worse?"

"Of course, sharky, un."

Pein swore loudly as he struggled in an epic fight to get out of his sleeping bag. Once he finally managed to free himself, he tossed it to one side of the tent and pulled a (fake) sword out of nowhere, pointing it at the oh-so-innocent heap of fabric. "Victory is mine! Once I control the world, I shall have all of your kind BURNED! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Outside the tent, the other eight male members of Akatsuki sighed.

"Are we shitting positive that those damned doctors didn't find a fucking thing wrong with him?"

"That's what they said," Itachi said, eyeing Pein's tent warily. Because, of course, it would NOT do to have a leader who was off-his-rocker. That's what the subordinates were for.

"ENGARDE!"

* * *

><p>"Naaaoowww can Tobi sing songs?" Said junior asked as they hiked up a mountain with Asuma Sarutobi-sensei.<p>

"What the fuck! Sasori, give me your god damn duck tape or I swear I will strangle his ass to get him to fucking shut the hell up!" Hidan spat, eyes widening as he glared at Tobi.

"Nooo Hidan-sempai! Don't hurt Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi wailed, hiding behind Deidara.

"What the fuck, un? Get away from me!" Deidara hissed, kicking the black-haired male in the shin.

Pein growled under his breath, rubbing his temples. "Konan. Did you bring rope?"

"Duh."

"Use it."

"Mmkay!" She smiled, skipping over to Sasori and stealing his duck tape before sneaking up behind Tobi and tackling him.

Everyone else just sweatdropped as they watched Konan bind him, dust flying everywhere.

"Stop moving!" Konan snapped, hitting Tobi's leg before putting duck tape over his mouth. Then she turned to Sasori, tossing back his duck tape.

"Kisame, carry him."

"I'm not a goddamn packmule," The blue-skinned senior grumbled, but picked up their bound member anyway.

Tenten and Temari, who were farther up in the hiking group, sighed. "Wow. Just...wow."

"Yeeeep. Poor Sakura."

* * *

><p>"Pein-sama."<p>

"What is it Itachi?"

"..." The quiet male eyed Kisame, who was still holding Tobi as they hiked further up the mountain. "When are you going to unbind him?"

"When we get back to the tents."

"...I see."

* * *

><p>"Pein-sama was so mean!" Tobi sniffled an hour later, attaching himself to Zetsu (who had decided to go investigate plants instead of climb the mountain with the rest of them).<p>

"You know Pein-sama does weird things when he's off his meds."

"I'M RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!" The orange haired leader fumed, before he began cussing in a way that put Hidan to shame and crawled in his tent, where his 'argument' with his sleeping bag began again.

"I vote we never let Pein-sama go on a school outing ever again, un," Deidara said.

"I fucking second that," The Jashinist agreed.

"He'll get over it," Kisame shrugged, pulling a bag of marshmellows out of his bag. "Who wants s'mores?"

"TOBI DOES!"

"I fucking need some of that shit!"

"Hidan, watch your language," Kakuzu said calmly, though his left eye was twitching.

"You fucking watch your shitass language bitch!"

"...That made no sense, un," Deidara pointed out as he stuck a marshmellow on a skewer to roast.

"Your face doesn't make fucking sense!" Hidan shouted, waving his skewer in the air like the crazyass that he was.

"Hidan, put the skewer DOWN. Slowly," Sasori said as they all scooted away from the silver-haired junior.

Itachi looked at Kisame, who was sitting next to him. "Idiots," He murmured.

"Yes, yes they are. Marshmellow?" The senior offered.

"Yes. Thank you, Kisame."

"My pleasure," The blue-skinned male grinned as they watch Hidan and Deidara chase Tobi for getting marshmellow in their hair.

* * *

><p>"Deidara! I told you not to blow anything up!" Pein fumed the following day (their last on the trip) as they were taking down their tents.<p>

"Actually, Pein-sama, you told him not to blow up any tents," Sasori reminded him.

"SHUSH YOU INSIGNIFICANT MORTAL!"

Kakuzu's left eye twitched again.

"It was a broken down bathroom, un! No one used it, un!" Deidara complained.

"DO NOT SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO MINION!"

"Fucking leader," Hidan muttered. He looked at Itachi, who nodded, and reached into Deidara's bag and pulled out the knock out gas.

"MASKS!" Kisame yelled, causing Pein to stare as his 'minions' all put on a gas masks.

His unspoken question was answered when Hidan lifted the can and sprayed him in the face."

* * *

><p>"And then we tied him up with the rope and duck tape and stashed him in the trunk of the bus, un," Deidara finished.<p>

Sakura stared at them all (including the fuming Pein, who was muttering something about 'unloyal minions') for a whole three minutes before she burst into laughter, falling out of her chair and rolling around on the floor of Kisame's room, gasping as she couldn't stop laughing.

"Useless minions," Pein grumbled, and Konan patted him on the back comfortingly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think I'll do all the bonus chapters in third person, it turned out really well...**

**Sorry for the delay! I was busy with my leap into my newest fandom, and watching my ten-month-old puppy who's adorable but a handful.**

**Ah, off-his-meds Pein. I loved it so much that I reincorporated it all over this chapter, including the running gag of Tobi trying to convince the other Akatsuki to sing with him. Poor guy, it never happened.**

**This chapter does come after Chapter 6: the night she joins, after dinner, all eleven of them go to hang in Kisame's room and trade stories. Hidan and Deidara eventually bring up the camping trip, and Pein is humiliated while Sakura can't stop laughing.**

**My reviewers: I DONT DESERVE YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY. YOU'RE ALL AWESOME. Thanks to: MystereKitsune, himeko63, AnimaAmore, ZephyrPhoenix, Fallen310, asdf, RaWRSMiLeCHoMP, ers110196, shadkial4ever, Purple Sunshine56, LMDAA, Tough chickC iheartitachiuchiha, and Ketsueki no Kuki. VIRTUAL COOKIES TO YOU ALL.**

**I'll try to get as many chapters out as I can before December 21, cause I'm going to Chicago for Christmas and I won't be back until the 27th. But, please remember, I'm juggling this fic and one other at the same time. Ugh it's hard...but I am trying!**

**Oh shit. I just got an idea for a Christmas bonus chapter. -facepalm-**

**REVIEW. VOTE. SEND PRANKS. The usual.**

**HOT CHOCOLATE AND SUNA PANDAS (coughGaaracough),**

**iamRAWRkaythanks**


	9. A New Face

**A/N: We now return you to your originally scheduled program. (HA! I'm funny...ish...cough)**

_**cherry blossom infiltration**_

_**Chapter Seven**_

_**A New Face**_

* * *

><p><em>THE DUTIES OF AKATSUKI MEMBER SAKURA HARUNO<em>

_o1. First and foremost Sakura will attend to the same 'female member' duties that Konan does (see 'The Duties of Akatsuki Member Konan Rose')._

_o2. Sakura will join Kakuzu as a 'Dealer of Hidan'. This requires Sakura to smack Hidan whenever he is misbehaving or, even better, punch him in the face._

_o3. Sakura is now designated 'The Medic'._

* * *

><p>"What. The. Fuck," Temari asked the next morning, holding a piece of paper in her hands.<p>

I yawned tiredly as I sat up in bed, eyeing it. I knew what the paper was. On our trek back to the girls' dorms the previous night, Konan had informed me of all the ins-and-outs of being a member of the Akatsuki, including the 'duties' that Itachi and Kakuzu assigned each member. Not that anyone gave a fuck about them besides those two.

I got out of bed, snatching it from her hands. Taking a quick look over it, I folded it up and stuck it in my nightstand.

The dirty-blonde junior looked at me warily. "Sakura, what the hell did you get yourself into?"

"Good question Temari," I smirked as I made my way to the bathroom. "I'd tell ya, but then I'd have to kill ya."

* * *

><p>"Everyone's talking about you," Ino said in homeroom as we waited for Kakashi-sensei (who could not be on time to save his LIFE).<p>

"Yeah, no duh boar, I just joined the Akatsuki," I replied dryly.

"Shut the hell up, bitch."

"Make me, whore."

"Whoa, there's some tension up in here!" A brunette male with red triangles on his cheeks said flirtaciously. "Maybe I can get in on the action?"

Ino glared at him, kicking him in the shin. "Fuck off, Inuzuka. This conversation does not include you."

Kiba Inuzuka just grinned. "Any conversation that includes you, babe, includes me."

I rolled my eyes as I watched Ino flush over Kiba's not-so-subtle comments. Whether she admitted it or not, my blonde best friend had the hots for him.

"Stop flirting guys," I said loudly. "Seriously, I'm getting cavities over here."

Ino kicked me in the shin while her lover-boy just grinned.

* * *

><p>I had a headphone in, jamming to an upbeat dance song as I walked the halls during free period, trying my hardest not to break into dance because I didn't want people staring at me more then they already did, when I spotted it.<p>

Er, rather, him.

"STARFISH!" I cried, running the length of the hall between me and him before leaping onto his back like the awesome (insane, wacko) ninja I was.

"Ooph!" Kisame said, lurching forward as he was unprepared for my weight. "What's up pinky?"

I smacked him lightly on the head. "If you are going to give me a nickname in return, be more creative then pinky hotshot."

"Nah, I like pinky. But maybe cupcake..."

"Do. Not. Call. Me. Cupcake. Ever."

"Cupcake it is!" The senior grinned as we walked into one of the courtyards where, 'surprisingly', the rest of the Akatsuki were all chilling.

"Sup homeskilletz!" I greeted (still on Kisame's back), deciding to forego the argument of whether Kelp-man could call me Cupcake or not in favor of acknowledging everyone else.

"Sakura-chan, un!" Deidara waved, having paused his 'civilized conversation' with Sasori about 'the true meaning of art' (aka their daily Everlasting vs Fleeting Argument).

"Hiya blondie!" I grinned, sliding off Kisame's back in a semi-graceful manor.

"Pink-haired-chan!" Tobi cried, dive bomb hugging me and sending us both crashing into the ground.

"Tobi, you fucking dumbass!" Hidan cursed, grabbing the mask-wearing boy and flinging him into a tree. "Hey, bitch, he didn't damage any fucking part of ya, did he?" He worried as he helped me to my feet.

"I'm fine, Hidan, let go," I said, smacking his hand as I turned back to Kisame. "No calling me cupcake, EVER!"

"But it suits you!" The senior grinned.

"NO IT FUCKING DOES NOT!"

Hidan groaned behind me. "Fuck, bitch, you are so damn hot when you fucking curse. Do it fucking again."

"Uhm...nao," I said, smacking him lightly over the head.

"Sakura."

"Sup Pein!" I greeted the orange-haired male who had suddenly appeared by my side.

He just gave me a look that read 'you did not just say SUP to your ALMIGHTY LEADER.' That dude had issues.

I simply raised an eyebrow at him before going to greet Konan.

* * *

><p>"I'm so excited I'm in your horticulture class now Sakura-chan!" Konan smiled, draping an arm around my shoulders to squeeze me tight in a hug.<p>

"Ditto Konan-san," I replied.

The blue haired female wrinkled her nose. "Just Konan is fine. Hey Zetsu!" She greeted loudly, waving at the green-haired senior.

"Konan, Sakura-san."

I smiled warmly, looking at Zetsu's black-and white roses. Konan skipped off to go find Iruka-sensei while I took down my newest project, daphnes.

I busied myself taking care of them, unaware of the turbulance that was looming ahead.

* * *

><p>"Sakura-chan, un!" A voice called in the halls, and I turned around to coke face-to-face with Deidara.<p>

"Hey blondie," I grinned. "Ready for history?"

The junior gave me a dark look. After an incident with explosives last year, many of Deidara's classes has suffered. The only one he hadn't managed to pass was History. Thus why he was in my eighth period.

"Ya, ya, laugh it up Sakura-chan, un," He pouted, crossing his arms.

"Aaaww, is Deidei-chan upset?" I teased as we slipped into Room 34C.

Deidara's left eye twitched. "I will get you back for that, un."

"Sure you will, princess," I smirked, patting his head as we slid into our seats.

The bell rang, and Asuma-sensei walked in the door, a slightly older male following behind him. This male had long crazy black hair that spiked out, and was only barely controlled by a ponytail. His eyes swept over the class, obviously observing all of them.

"Everyone settle down!" Asuma yelled, tossing his cigerette in the trash. "As you're all aware, I'll be gone for a month-"

"Yeah, on a romantic vacation with Kurenai-sensei!" A sophomore with spiky coffee-colored hair called. The entire class burst into noise, either laughing or catcalling. I barely managed to supress a smirk.

"Enough class! Mr. Daisuke, that was unnessecary," Our history teacher continued. "As I was saying, I'll be gone for a month starting next Wednesday, and this will be your substitute sensei until I get back," He motioned to the male standing next to him. "Would you like to introduce yourself?"

The other male nodded. "My name is Madara Uchiha, I have three nephews and one niece that attend Konoha Directions. I hope we will all get along well." His eyes swept over the class again, before meeting with mine. I inwardly shivered as I noticed the tiniest smirk playing on his lips.

"Thank you, Madara. Now, class, if you'll turn to page two hundred and eleven, we'll get started..."

I turned to look at Deidara and mouthed, "Madara...?"

He simply shrugged. Obviously he knew as much as I did, which was nothing.

Well, the next month would be interesting, no doubt...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: MY APOLOGIES FOR TAKING THIS LONG. And, even after I took like a month, it was still a crappy and short chapter.**

**But we have Madara...?**

**The overprotectiveness and jealousy starts here! Kami, I wish I had nine hawt Akatsuki men protecting me. Alright, fangirl moment over.**

**Thanks to my AWESOME POSSUM reviewers: The Perverted One, 1sunfun, Dak Hamee, ers110196, Anime-girl-next-door, Nixxy, Nox Maltid, Black snake eyes, LMDAA, Gin-senpai, Good boy-chan, Purple Sunshine56, MystereKitsune, yuikiyaya, and anyone else I happened to miss.**

**100 PLUS REVIEWS! I'm so happy! Once we hit 175, I'll do another Bonus chapter. I have a few ideas of my own, but if you have an idea for a bonus chapter, leave it in your review!**

**I'll try to update sooner!**

**CHOCOLATE!,**

**iamRAWRkaythanks**


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